Last Updated: Monday, February 26 2007
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A glorious Sunday morning greeted all
Covesiders as we arrived at Mahon Park for our Provincials game
against the Mighty Morphin Fire Rangers. The pundits gave us very
little hope against them, with the more literate of them (which is
kind of like identifying the tallest midget) predicting a big win
for the Fire Rangers. But unlike the previous year, when we arrived
for our match with Westside feeling nervous and outmatched, there
was a quiet confidence about our side. (Well, almost everything was
quiet, except for Speerchucker’s voice mail.) Part of that confidence was attributable to the fact that, for just about the first time that year, we arrived with just about our strongest lineup. Due to a combination of injuries, illnesses, apathy, and syphilis, we’d gone most of the season with poor turnouts to practices and games. So we were feeling pretty good when we took to the field with the strongest side we’d seen all year. Those good feelings were dented somewhat by the pre-game tactical speech. Ever since Rob Paul and Bernie chipped in to buy a shared copy of “Soccer Tactics for Dummies” we’ve not known what formation has been about to come our way, and this time it was a midfield cubic zirconium with Roddy instructed to “Be Annoying” somewhere near the middle of the gem (having someone in the middle of the gem kind of defeats the whole idea of having four points, but I digress). The good news was Eamon gave Al Roberts free reign to yell at everyone, which was kind of like Rosie giving Roddy free reign to have unprotected sex with everyone. Richie, braving a fracture in his foot, landed at the rear point of the zirconium, with Rob Paul and Gino adding the sparkle on its edges. K-Ward, A-Rob, and the two Randys made up the back line. Cloudy started in net and Eamon (or, as the ref said, Gay-man) and Rosie started up front. The subs included Craig, your beloved scribe, Ivan, Ed, the Dhaliwal who was named after beer, and the Barr who was named after a tiny fictional character. We were supported by an excellent coffee club, which unfortunately also added some of the subs to its ranks as the game progressed. The game kicked off and seemed very even. But before you could say “Put me in coach,” we were down 2-0, with poor marking from set pieces the culprit on both occasions. First a giveaway led to a foul about 25 yards out from our net on our left flank. A cross was curled in low and should have been cut out, but found the foot of an unmarked Power Ranger (I think it was the Yellow one) who clipped the ball in for a 1-0 lead. The second came from a corner kick. The corner was either deflected or flicked towards the net, and somehow the ball found itself (if balls can find themselves) 1 yard out at the feet of the unmarked Pink Ranger. He cheerfully punted the ball into the onion bag and we were down 2-0. Things were made even worse when Eamon went over on his enormous ankle and Richie also limped off the field. Rob Paul could be seen running to the sidelines and frantically looking through the index of the “Dummies” book to look for the correct solution to this situation. And the ref seemed determined to help the Surrey cause along when he let them re-take a free kick three times after they twice took the kick before he blew his whistle. “Keep trying until you get it right” was the sarcastic cry from our coffee club. The correct solution to the situation was to settle down and work harder. We tightened up our marking and upped our work rate and gradually began to create some chances of our own. The best of these came when Rosie sprung through on a breakaway but slid his effort past the post. At the other end Cloudy made a magnificent save, diving to his right to push a goal-bound Surrey shot past the post. We went into the half still trailing 2-0. The half-time talk was more about passion than substance, and that was the appropriate theme. We’d made two bad mistakes and they’d both been punished, but apart from that we’d been playing a really strong and very even game. We just needed that one goal, and if we kept working hard, kept our marking tight, and tried to avoid just punting the ball up the field, we’d be in good shape. But as Meat Loaf once said, two out of three ain’t bad. As the second half progressed, our work rate continued to be exceptional. Both Randys had exceptionally good games on the flanks of the defense and were preventing the wingers from getting crosses in to the towering infernos (fireman joke) in the middle of Surrey’s attack. Our defense and midfield bottled up the middle, and the speed and effort put out up front was causing Surrey some nervous moments. Our weakness was probably our inability to work the ball up the park without the long ball or the big kick up the field. Too often this year we’ve tried to get the ball up the field quickly, when a square ball or a back pass might have allowed us to open things up. As Axl Rose once said “All you need is just a little patience.” As the half progressed, Surrey became noticeably tired, which opened up some more space for us in the middle of the part. And on those occasions where we found space, we created some openings and some chances. The best of those fell to tactician/numerologist Rob Paul, after a great run down the wing by Roddy and a clever cutback by an alert forward (Gino? Rosie? Craig?). He was eight yards out with just the keeper to beat, but being conditioned by numerous games against Lupo, he took one extra touch and was closed down by a terrific tackle. At the other end, we were tiring and pressing hard for the one goal, and this left some openings for Surrey. Cloudy, though, was more than equal to the task, facing down multiple breakaways, emerging from his net with a thunderous clap of his hands and keeping the score at 2-0. As exhaustion set in and time ticked by, we continued working but could only create half-chances and the final whistle signaled a 2-0 victory for Surrey. Like last year, we played well enough to win some respect. But unlike last year, we were in this game for the entire game, and if we could have just found that one goal, we might have been able to go on and win. And, on an editorial note, with the quality of players we have we should be dominating the NSCL. If we had the lineup we had for this game most weeks, and worked even close to this hard, we’d be absolutely dominant. It would be nice to have fewer games with 13 guys next season. On another editorial note, the lack of success of the NSCL will probably start another round of caterwauling about how many Provincials spaces should be assigned to the various leagues. Three points to consider: (1) if BC soccer wants to have successful leagues outside of the Vancouver league, it’s going to need to keep providing spots to those leagues. Taking away another spot from the NSCL would amount to kicking a league that’s down and trying to survive. And then more teams will move to the VMSL, and you’ll see more VMSL pressure for more spaces, and you'll end up with the Vancouver Cup. (2) If the VMSL would revise its own way of selecting participants to put more emphasis on season-long performance (i.e. the league) and less on single-game performance (i.e. cups) it would ensure the best teams get in without having to get more spots. (3) Is the difference between the 7th-8th best VMSL team and 3rd best team in the NSCL, Fraser Valley League, and the Island so great that one team should be switched for another? That’s doubtful. That aside, best of luck to Surrey. They seemed like a nice bunch of guys and a good side. And they seemed to enjoy themselves after the game, having some beers in the sunshine and, for a change, not worrying about whether their cards were being stolen. As for us, we enjoyed the usual post-game beers and laughs, along with the 73 children that were in some way connected with the team. (53 of them were actually our children, 20 are hanging out waiting for the results of Rosie’s paternity tests). Thanks also to Bernie, who is taking the summer off of coaching and managing (but not from drinking beer on the sidelines) in a much-deserved break. He works his not-insubstantial butt off for the team and, because we’re a men’s team and not a women’s team, we probably don’t provide the appropriate amount of gratitude that he deserves. So, Bernie, on behalf of the entire team, thank you for bringing the beer. Summer soccer starts this Tuesday at 7pm at Griffin, and we are up against a Norvan team that will probably look nothing like the horrible Norvan team we watched go down 3-0 to a very average-looking Peace Arch side (they draw in from their Metro teams for the summer). If you’re coming out for the summer, see you there!
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