But before I get into the match
report, I think we all want to express our condolences to Rob Paul
on the passing of his father. Our best wishes go to you and your
family at this difficult time.
Coveside’s second game of the summer 2007 NSCL season was against
Lupo. It was a perfect early summer evening, warm and clear, and a
strong turnout of players and watchers came out to enjoy the night.
With Bernie taking the summer off to work on his figure, there’s
been a leadership vacuum. They say that nature and men both abhor a
vacuum, and, sure enough, there’s been no rush of volunteers to take
on Bernie’s duties. The law firm of Geezer, Ivan, and Speerchucker
collectively took responsibility for the starting lineup, and after
they considered and rejected Ivan’s 2-4-4 formation, we started in a
3-5-2 formation.
Gavin has rejoined us for the summer and he started in central
defense, with your scribe on the left and K-Ward on the right, with
the returning Vinny in net. The midfield saw newcomers Mike C and
Mark joined by Cam, Gino, and Ivan. Rosie, feeling a bit lonely
without his little sidekick, was joined up front by Tim. A strong
bench contingent included Fergie (who had a running substitution
“battle” with Gavin all game), birthday boys Randy Ash (ostensibly
turning 30) and Ivan (ostensibly still planning to leave the
country), as well as JC, Richie, Harp, Speers, and Cloudy, who
played up front and was responsible for one of the best moments of
the game. More about that later.
Now when we go up against Lupo (incidentally, if you rearrange the
letters in the word “Lupo,” add two T’s, a B, two I’s, a G, and an
S, and get rid of the L, U, P, and O, you can spell “Big Tits,”) we
know that it’s a game we should win. So the challenge is to try to
play good football along the way.
We started with some good passing and lots of possession, and the
first goal came quickly. A cross from the right wing found Rosie
unmarked at the far post. He actually misdirected his header, but it
wrong-footed the keeper and bounced into the opposite side of the
net for a 1-0 Coveside lead.
The next chance came from a free kick at the edge of the box. I’m
going to use visual aids to explain this one. Now, when setting up a
wall, the general idea is to block part of the net. So, if the X’s
below are players and the line is a goal, here is how to set up a
wall:
______________
XXXX
Note that the wall actually covers part of the net. Here’s how the
Lupo keeper set up his wall:
______________
Note, observant reader, that there is an open spot on the right
hand-side of the net. Gavin gratefully kicked the ball into that
spot and we had a 2-0 lead.
The Lupo keeper’s odd behavior continued on the third goal. A
through ball invited Tim to chase, but it looked certain that the
keeper would get to the ball first. But when the keeper got to the
edge of his area he hesitated to cross the magic 18-yard line, and
as the keeper muddled over what to do Tim nipped in and tucked the
ball into the net for a 3-0 lead.
4-0 came soon afterwards. Mark made one of his many excellent runs,
and broke clean through behind the defense. A defender chopped him
down for the most obvious penalty call since Brad axed down a Lynn
Valley forward a summer or so ago (although this didn’t stop the
trench-coated megaphone on the sidelines from protesting against the
call).
Mark took responsibility himself and slotted a perfect penalty into
the bottom left corner for a 4-0 lead.
Cue the substitutions. People came on; people came off. And our
concentration seemed to come off the field as well. The poor
Covesiders who’d been watching some decent football up until they
got on the field were greeted with some awful stuff. At one time or
another, every single defender (your scribe was personally guilty at
least twice) gave the ball away in the middle of the field. Only
some good tackling back and a lack of finish on Lupo’s part
prevented them getting on the scoreboard. We went in at the half
with a 4-0 lead. (Note that I'm not mentioning anything about
throw-ins.)
We milled about without direction at half time, wondering who was
going to provide us with the valuable tactical information we’d
become so accustomed to hearing during Bernie’s speeches. “Stop
sucking” was the strongest message we heard, and we retook the field
with the same lineup we’d started the game with.
The 5-0 goal wasn’t long in coming. Your scribe slipped a ball
through to Rosie, who atoned for his first half missed breakaway by
sliding a low shot past the keeper and just inside the right hand
post to put us up 5-0.
Cloudy’s moment of glory came soon afterwards. A cross found its way
through to him about 12 yards out on the left-hand side of the area.
The buildup looked similar to this goal:
http://www.yourdailymedia.com/media/1139395061/Van_Basten_Bicycle_Kick
But the finish looked
more like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b69Rz1a3FWw
Remarkably, both
Cloudy and the turf were unscathed.
It was left to Mark to provide the sixth goal, his second of the
game, with another excellent run down the right wing. He got to the
by-line, slipped past his defender, and cut towards the net. The
keeper decided to play the pass (see the diagrams above regarding
leaving parts of the net open), so Mark obligingly slotted the ball
into the open net for a 6-0 lead.
At the other end, we had some moments of comedy. Fergie had been on
the pitch for about 30 seconds before a perfect giveaway to a Lupo
forward, but they couldn’t take advantage. Vinnie, showing once
again why he’s a keeper, almost managed to kick the ball off a Lupo
forward into the net, but the rebound fell kindly to him.
Meanwhile, we were working hard to try to get that killer seventh
goal. Randy Ash was playing up front as a birthday present, but just
couldn’t get the bounces to go his way. Ditto with JC, who had more
shots blocked than the Canucks did against Dallas.
Geezer almost got one when he battled his way through, around, and
over three defenders before the keeper blocked his shot. Geezer
would have won the “unluckiest Covesider” of the match award just
for that, but he was easily eclipsed by Mike C, who first lost a
temporary tooth and then strained a calf muscle in quick succession.
Hopefully he’ll get in for some Poker Stars therapy at work (you
know how those IT guys spend their time) and be back soon.
The final whistle brought an end to a 6-0 Coveside victory. We
enjoyed the beers and laughs afterwards, although it seemed unjust
that those of us who enjoyed them most and stayed the longest also
got stuck with the balls, kit, and water at the end. (Leaving early
doesn’t get you off the hook, you sneaky buggers.)
We were even more delighted when Speerchucker declared that next
week (Wednesday at 8pm at Ambleside against NAFC) will be Quesadilla
week.
Lastly, summer is also a time for your match reporters to take a
break, and it’s time for the sequence of guest reporters to
commence. Amar and I look forward to the sarcasm, wit, and abuse we
know you are all capable of producing.
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