Last Updated: Saturday, 1 April 2006
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The Canucks game
I went to tonight sucked so badly (4-1 Blues) that I decided to stay
up and write the report rather than have nightmares about Sven
Butenschon. The first portion of this report is quoted from a match report that Amar wrote on December 5th, 2004. Only the words in capital letters have been changed: “There are certain events that place us all at a point in space and at a moment in time. Our parents always remember where they were when JFK was assassinated, we will always remember where we were when the first gulf war erupted on CNN, and our kids will always remember what they were doing when Justin Timberlake ripped off Janet Jackson's top. Now add another event to this list.. Where were you when AMAR DHALIWAL SCORED TWO GOALS?” We were all on the pitch at Confederation Park on a cold, rainy Sunday morning (just for a change) as a rampant Amar Dhaliwal tore apart Freybe, leading his awed Coveside team mates to a 4-1 victory over Freybe in the semi-finals of the league cup. Having clinched the league championship the week before, there was a chance that a happy Coveside team would come out a little bit flat for their league cup match up with Freybe. Bernie tried to keep us focused with a Wednesday practice that included the most wind sprints we’d seen since Doc found himself 800 metres from the closest toilet after his fourth lunchtime bean, jabanero pepper, salsa and bran burrito. (Not that Bernie’s let the league championship go to his head, but we hear he’s insisted that Vanessa call him “The Special One.”) Those of us who survived the practice made it into the starting lineup, with Cloudy in net, Al and Dave the meat in a Randy sandwich, Cam and the prodigal son Rob Paul the meat in a Gord and Roddy sandwich, and Tim the meat in an open-faced Gino sandwich. Among the numerous subs were the lanky poacher Amar, Brad, Martine, Mike (dropped from the starting lineup for missing his first practice of the year—that’ll show you, Golden Boot boy), Speers, and welcome newcomer Jason (fit, fast, and skilled—what the hell is he doing playing with us?). Graham headed up the coffee club in his new “Red Green Ghetto Chic” look. We did come out a bit flat and the early chances came Freybe’s way. A fortunate bounce off of one of Randy Ash’s enormous lower legs found its way to Duzzi, who pounced with a low, hard shot past Cloudy. Only a few minutes gone and it was 1-0 Freybe. Maybe we did have a bit of a hangover from winning the league, because we certainly didn’t look good in the early going. Our marking was slack at the back, there were lots of giveaways in the midfield, and our forwards looked isolated. Fortunately, we had bike-lane champion Al Roberts back in the back line. In case you missed it, Al recently had a letter published in the North Shore News. He wrote on the very important topic of which cyclists had the right-of-way when approaching the Ironworkers Memorial Bridge. Al argued that people coming downhill to the bridge should have right-of-way because they were going faster and it would take them longer to stop. This ignited (appropriately enough) a firestorm of controversy, with some cyclists arguing that it’s easier for people coming downhill to get going again once they have stopped. Fascinating stuff! And they say local news stories are boring… Al chose to mark his return by spiking, volleyball-style, a ball that was bouncing over his head when he was last man back. A bemused ref gave Al a yellow, as no-one was within ten yards of him to create a goal-scoring opportunity. And speaking of those, one finally came our way when new signee Jason took the pitch. He had plenty to do with a ball into his feet about 35 yards out, but he turned and ran towards the net, two Freybe defenders parted like a pair of legs at Brandi's, and Jason finished coolly (and untouched) to tie the score at 1-1. Although we continued to struggle, Freybe weren’t creating a great deal either, with the exception of a chance off a corner kick that Dave Speers stopped with a miraculous block. For the most part Freybe seemed content to have their giant defender with a tiny moustache hoof the ball a mile up the field and try to pick up scraps. Amar soon tired of the lack of quality football decided to inject some class into the affair. A quick break from Brad and Rod down the right wing led to a low cross. It skidded past the front of the net, and Amar glided in like a gazelle on ice skates to bury the loose ball for a 2-1 Coveside lead. That’s how it stood at the half. Bernie’s half time talk was special. Special, in this case, means the same thing as when we talk about special needs and Special Olympics. As the second half started it was still anyone’s game, but Freybe had no subs and we gradually took things over. Cam and Mike began to control the middle of the pitch, and Dave Speers (my choice for runner-up MOTM behind Amar) had an excellent game (after his first three crap passes) tidying up in front of the back line. We began to get the ball wide to our wingers, and that led to our third goal. A cross from the right found a wide open Gordo on the penalty spot. He took a wild swing at the ball, missed and pirouetted. The ball bounced up and hit him on the left gonad. This caused his entire sack to swing first to the right, then back in a pendulum-like motion, pushing the ball into the path of an onrushing Mike Browne. His side-footed finish into the bottom corner made it 3-1. Goal to Mike; assist to Gord’s nutsack. (An aside here that may only be interesting to me: my spell check just suggested that nut sack should be two words). The 3-1 goal took all the steam out of the match, and the Freybe lads started more or less going through the motions. We were soon overrunning their defense and creating tons of chances. Many of these chances fell to Gino, and, well, if you were at the match, you know what happened. If it wasn’t for bad luck, Gino would be having no luck at all. There was the breakaway where he tried to nutmeg the keeper; the 2 on none where he cut inside and ran into his own player; and the wide-open net from 10 yards out that was cleared off the line by the Freybe defender. When someone finds the snake that has bitten Gino…kill it. After the match Gino left for Mexico, where we understand he has signed up for a Super Socco camp for strikers. Amar will be a guest lecturer. And speaking of master poacher Amar, a break down the right wing produced a low cross along the six yard line, past the stranded Freybe keeper. The lone Freybe defender felt the intimidating presence of Amar right behind them, and was so afraid that he let the ball roll right through his legs (thus becoming part of the longest nutmeg ever). Amar, his fine predatory instincts showing, stroked the ball into the empty net for a 4-1 Coveside lead. The ref, sensing that Amar would put in four or five more if the game went longer, blew the final whistle soon after. Final score: Amar 2, Amar’s team mates 2, Freybe 1. The beer and laughs after the game were a bit on the chilly side as we watched Nordic beat Norvan 2-0 to set up a Coveside-Nordic league cup final. Apparently there was even some trash talking between the rival coaches, with the Nordic coach saying that they had our number and would beat us in the final. (Now if they’d only had Freybe’s number and Norvan’s number too they might have won the league.) See you on Thursday night against Blueridge.
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