I think that it has rained 35 out of the last 36 days and you can imagine, therefore, that it came as no surprise to me to learn that some egghead in Cardiff University has devised a complex mathematical formula which proves today (January 23rd) is the most depressing day of the year.

The only bit of good news to dwell on, after a Sunday when Utd beat Liverpool and the Broncos were ousted by the Steelers, was that Coveside comprehensively defeated Freybe 3-1 to maintain their chase of table leading Nordic.

Despite the 'rather' inclement weather, there was a near record turnout. The only missing players were Harp, Ed, Brad, Cormac, JC which sounds, and would look like, a Bond villain convention mixed with a 70s p*rn stars' reunion. The agents for the mustachioed Freybe left back, the big-bald bloke who plays for the Guardians, and the very lanky Nordic striker are surely monitoring the situation

With so many players to choose from Bernie looked shell-shocked, pulling out his "Count with Barney" calculator he finally came up with the following starting line-up:

Sean

Fergie | Al Roberts |Dave H | Amar D

Roddie | Cam | Rob P | Gord

Eamon | Mike B

The first half was wet.

With both teams struggling to find any rhythm or a decisive through ball to the strikers, most of the game was played in the middle third of the field and I'm pretty sure that neither keeper had to make a save.

Comic relief was provided by Al Roberts who ghosted into an attacking play and left off a shot that was so wayward that a little old lady on Chesterfield Street brought the ball back. Al did redeem himself a little later with a drag-back and left-footed shot that was almost, but quite, on target.

Somehow Gino found himself in a wrestling match with a Freybian. The combination of body hair and a decent lashing of massage oil makes Gino a tricky customer at the best of times, add a torrential downpour and there was no way he was going to be bested. Having contemptuously dismissed the challenge, Gino headed of the field to change his socks which were chafing.

The half time talk was Berniesque, in both it's clarity and relevance.  

And just when you thought it couldn't possibly rain any more, the heavens opened up, the ref blew his whistle and the game was underway again.

Within 10 minutes of the restart Coveside got the breakthrough. Martin produced some fancy footwork to beat his full-back and get to the goal-line. His hard driven cross was belted into the goal by a Freybe defender (under pressure from Michael Brown) and Coveside took a fortunate but not entirely undeserved lead. Coveside 1-0!

At this time Coveside were playing some of their best football off the season. The defence were playing with a assuredness that has often been lacking and it is no exaggeration to say that Freybe did not have one clear goalscoring opportunity.

The midfield was finally starting to dominate possession and Cam, Roddy, Rob Paul, Andy, Rich, Gord, and Martin all put in a great effort to chase possession and not allow the Freybe lads to settle down. Special mention must be made of the wee man, who once again made a complete nuisance of himself on the right wing. Listen to the Roddy Chant here.

An excellent piece of tracking back by Mike saw him dispossess a Freybe midfielder, the ball was quickly played back into the centre of the field where Cam played a searching ball into the path of a surging Dave Hannah. It took two Freybians to bring him down and when they did the ref had no hesitation in pointing to the penalty spot.

Eamon took the responsibility for the penalty kick and lashed the ball hard and low to the left giving the keeper no chance. Coveside 2-0!

Eamon was also involved in applying the coup-de-grace. Playing in his most comfortable position, spooning with his opponent, he laid back a deft pass to Richie Hawes. What followed was surely one of the highlights of this, or any other, Coveside season. Teeing the ball up on his left foot (what a surprise), Rich hit the ball with such venom from 35 yards, that not only did it hit the back of the net without the Freybe keeper blinking, it was still gathering pace as it did so. Goal of the season right there. Coveside 3-0!

In a attempt to reverse the slide Freybe withdrew one of their defenders and introduced a third striker. Bernie responded to this tactical realignment by furrowing his brow, pacing the touchline muttering to himself, counting on his fingers and then studiously leaving things exactly as they were. Freybe were finally able to get some pressure on the Coveside defenders but still no clear cut changes. Fergie was having a huge game, keeping it real as Hannah pointed out, and snuffing out every half  chance.

With 20 minutes still to play Freybe did get some concerted pressure on the goal and were awarded a penalty. This was duly dispatched to bring the score to 3-1.

Despite dominating much of the remaining possession Freybe were unable to unlock the Coveside defence and the game petered out (unlike the fcuking rain) to a 3-1 Coveside victory. A follicly challenged Freybian did enquire to himself and (having lost his inner voice) all around him how we managed to scored three goals. Fergie, keeping it real, responded "Easily".

After the longest post-match handshake in NSCL history the lads retreated to the club house. The beers and laughs after the game were as good, but soggier, than normal. Bernie elevated the level of post match imbibing to a new level as he and his lovely wife Vanessa gracefully sipped their red wines. It was all so glamorous and sophisticated until Bernie revealed he was mixing his Merlot with Seven-Up!

For a very pleasant change the activities away from the pitch were just as entertaining.

From the NSCL forum yesterday, in surely the most outlandish rant by any footballer since former Coventry goalkeeper David Icke claimed the world was run by reptilian humanoids with a penchant for blood sacrifices and intergalactic mind-war, the boys from Pegasus claimed that the other teams in the NSCL were being horrible and mean by not letting them play in the summer league. The argument, as far as I could fathom it, is that they are better than everyone else and should be allowed to play because it's only fair they win everything again. Makes sense to me, but then again I thought Cisse was a good signing for Liverpool.

And finally, from the super sophisticated environs of the Seymour Pub came news that the Head Bottle Collector allegedly punched an ex-NSCL superstar. He was last seen being lead away by North Vancouver's finest. CSI Vancouver is on the case.