Last Updated: Saturday, 1 April 2006
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Who said, “One
down, two to go?” Was it: (a) Bernie this past Wednesday after his first bottle of pre-practice scotch? (b) Brad after testing out the mouth orifice on his recently purchased inflatable woman? (c) A relieved Coveside team after a 2-0 victory over Freybe, leaving us with two games left where victories would make us league champs? The correct answer is, of course, (b). But that’s not to say we weren’t pleased with a scrappy, hard-fought victory this Sunday at Inter Rivers. Turnout was good again as we arrived at Inter Rivers on a pleasant (for a change) Sunday morning. We expected to be sharp, due largely to the top-notch practice we had this past Wednesday. Our fearless leader’s drill instructions at that practice were, well, lacking their usual clarity. (That’s not to say that his usual instructions are especially clear, just that this week’s instructions lacked even that level of clarity). An actual sample of the scrimmage instructions is as follows: “You can take three touches if you have the ball and two touches if you don’t.” But enough of practice (I’ve been threatened with benching if I dwell too long on it). Bernie chose a starting lineup of Fergie, Dave H, Brad, and Martine at the back, Andy, Cam, Rod, and Gord in the middle, and Mike and Tim up front. Cloudy, fresh from the 15-minute-long corner kick drill at practice this week, came prepared to handle any and all crosses that came his way. Our subs included Eamon, Richie, Ed, Randy (my calves are bigger than) Ash (trees), Graham, and a nice Italian fellow who owns a Miata and apparently supports a team that lost 5-0 on the weekend. Dave Speers was also there, sporting a substantial bruise under his arm. He made up some story about “blocking a puck,” but if you looked closely (not a pleasant thing to do) the bruise had all the classic markings of a Propecia overdose. That’s got to be embarrassing for Dave: he ordered Viagra, didn’t double-check his shipment, and used Propecia by mistake. If you’re wondering where Dave’s Viagra showed up, well, look for Jose Theodore to be sporting an extra roomy cup in his next few starts. We came out hard in the opening minutes and were immediately knocking the ball around well. Brad was released down the right wing (isn’t there something appropriate-sounding about “Brad was released?”) and put in a high cross. A Freybe defender could only knock the ball out to the top of the area, where our goateed midfield dynamo Cam was lurking. One touch brought the ball down to his trusty right foot, and he lashed an unstoppable drive into the net for a 1-0 lead. Now, I was listening to an interview with Gord’s ex-boyfriend Steven Gerrard (what’s Croatian for “Brokeback Mountain?”), where he was describing a match where Liverpool had scored “too early.” At the time I thought it was a moronic comment, as surely scoring early in any context is a good thing (any insights, Graham?). But after seeing how we reacted to the goal and how Freybe reacted to it, I think I have some appreciation for what Gord’s ex meant. We relaxed, thinking we were going to have an easy time with an undermanned Freybe team; and Freybe, who after a 3-2 midweek loss to Malones are now facing the possibility of relegation, kicked their play up a notch. They moved five into the middle of the park, regularly pushed up one of their defenders, and outnumbered us there for much of the game. Bernie would doubtless have reacted to the tactical situation, but he was missing his tactical genius, mathematician Rob Paul (who apparently is waiting for another Lupo game). In addition to being overrun in the midfield, we were more than a little sloppy with our marking and our passing. Giveaways were common as we struggled to settle. But Freybe’s tactics left them vulnerable to counterattacks, and we created a couple good chances off of those. Mike was put clean through from the halfway line, but his strong shot was parried by the keeper. A run and cross from Roddy found Eamon on the back post, but his contorted attempt at a volley (when a header might have done the trick) sent the ball high over the bar. And in spite of probably having the majority of possession (according to the Rob Paul possession meter, Freybe had 64% possession and we had 54%), Freybe were unable to create chances. The back line had a solid game, with Martin shining in his left-back spot (sorry, Martin, you might be stuck there now). Fergie had his usual strong game, and his usual once-per-game-brain-fart-of-a-pass that a Freybe midfielder put wide of the post. Freybe’s best chance came soon after that from a scramble in the area, but their little midfielder (the Energizer-bunny-type guy who keeps going and going) couldn’t get over the ball enough to tie the score. With that let off we went into the half not particularly satisfied with our play, but with a 1-0 lead. Bernie’s half-time talk was terrific: criticism-proof; error-proof; and about 86-proof. We reverted to our starting lineup for the start of the second half, and with the intention to push one of our four defenders up to provide support for the midfield. We came out a little stronger for the second half. Freybe were continuing to push players up looking for the tying goal, but with some more bodies occupying the midfield we were able to frustrate them as they tried to create openings. In goal, Cloudy had a good game handling crosses (one excellent punch in the first half comes to mind), but was otherwise more bored than Fergie at a reading of feminist poetry. (An example of a feminist haiku: Men are very, very, very, very evil. Women are nicer. Portia De Rossi is yummy.) With Freybe pushing more players forward, we looked to hit them on the counterattack. We created several breaks down Rod’s wing, but couldn’t make the link to our players in the middle. (Note to everyone: next week, when there are three people waiting for a cross, at least one of them should be at the FAR post). One of our breaks led to a really odd call from the ref, as Rod broke in free on the keeper, who came outside the penalty area to challenge. Roddy tried to chip the ball over him, but the keeper reached up and blocked the ball with his hands. Now, in that situation, the keeper can be red-carded for two reasons: (1) committing a foul to deny a goal-scoring opportunity, or (2) deliberately handling the ball outside the area. Apparently two reds equal a yellow, because that’s what the keeper got. The ref explained that it was not a goal scoring opportunity, which seemed like an implausible explanation until we realized that she was right: since it was Rod who would have had the shot on an open goal, it was not a clear opportunity. As time ticked away, Freybe piled on the pressure, but we continued to deny them goal-scoring opportunities. In fact, they did not record a single shot on goal all game. Unfortunately, this means that Cloudy had his second game of the year with a 0.000 save percentage. With a couple of minutes to go, we caught Freybe on the break. Mike and Gino broke up the field with a 2 on 1 (any insights into two-on-ones, Graham?). Mike slid the ball over to Gino, who drew the keeper and the defender and then, in an unexpected display of generosity, he slid the ball back over to Mike who calmly stroked it into an open net. 2-0 Coveside, and Mike now has 8 more goals than Gino on the year. The final whistle went literally a minute later for a scrappy, but probably just deserved, 2-0 Coveside victory that takes us two points clear at the top of the league. As we enjoyed the beers and laughs afterwards, we looked ahead to match against Nordic next week. I believe that a victory over Nordic would in and of itself give us the league title, as that would put us three points up on Norvan with us owning the tiebreaker with two victories. So next week is the biggie. Unfortunately, we’ll be missing the wee man Roddy, who heads out of town to a hockey tournament on the island. So we’ll need everyone in their best trash-talking form to compensate. So, if you only make it to one practice this year, make it this Wednesday’s practice at Ambleside. |
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